Mrs. Hulk Hogan's Temporary Home

Everyone knows all about and probably too damn much about the troubled Hulk Hogan family. They got one daughter who makes a "career" singing in malls across America and strutting red carpets wearing trashy and tawdry outfits that barely cover her naughty bits. They've got that teenage son who acts too big for his d-list britches and recently wrapped his car around a palm tree in Miami and nearly killed his passenger friend. Then of course there is the pending dee-vorce of Mama and Papa Hogan. Honestly kids, Your Mama does not know any details of their dee-vorce and you know what? We don't really care to know.

What we do know is that not long after the Hogan family sold their Miami Beach house to action film director and producer Michael Bay for just under its asking price of $18,900,000 and shortly after leaked dee-vorce documents revealed the Hogans were splitting, Mrs. Linda Bollea (that's Mrs. Hogan to wrestling fans) packed her Louis Vuitton cases and work out bags and headed to Los Angeles where she rented a house on Hilts Avenue in Little Holmby Hills. According to property records, the house measures 3,552 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms.

A well connected source informs Your Mama that the house was listed for lease at $18,000 per month, but we have no way of confirming the exact amount that was paid to the non-celeb landlord.

Now kids, don't even think of rolling by this house like some stoopid looky loo star fucker because we're quite certain that if Mister Hulk Hogan is around he'd sooner kick your ass as have you poking around in the bushes. And if he don't get on you, then we suspect that kinda butch looking Brooke might be able to give most of you nuts a serious beat down. Besides, our source tells us that the soon to be ex Mrs. Hulk Hogan has already moved on.

The 15 Central Park West Rundown

While glass tower developments rise all over Manhattan, noted starchitect Robert A.M. Stern did a complete 180 to Manhattan's prevailing architectural trend when he designed the limestone clad towers at 15 Central Park West for the Zeckendorf brothers (the developers). The uber dee-luxe condo project has more in common with it's pre-war ancestors and neighbors that circle Central Park than with much ballyhooed projects as Dutch-born starchitect Winka Dubbeldam's pleated glass curtain on Greenwich Street or any of the many Richard Meier green glass towers that line the Westside Highway.

Few buildings in New York City have received more press than 15 CPW and there's really little we can add that hasn't already been said about the lavish and obscenely expensive building. However, since Your Mama has been receiving phone calls, emails and telegrams up the wazoo wanting to know what's what and who's who at the new at 15 Central Park West, we thought we'd weigh in with a short list of some the deep pocketed big names who have scooped up high priced condominiums in the soon to be completed two-tower building.

The complex is comprised to two buildings joined by a lavish lobby. The "House" side fronts Central Park and the "Tower" side rises behind to more than 40 stories. Resident amenities include pre-war sized rooms and unusually large windowed kitchens, a large motor court so that the ridiculously rich residents need not been seen by the common folks when entering or exiting the building, full time doormen and concierge staff (natch), a private 20 seat theater, 20 wine cellars (sold separately), 29 staff suites (sold separately), room service, a private in-house chef, a fully stocked library, landscaped out door space, and a massive health club with a 75 foot long lap pool.

While there are several Hollywood celebrity types that have purchased condos, many of the hideously high-priced penthouse units were scooped up by Wall Street types, who despite a downturn in the economy feel no pinch in their own pocketbooks. Certainly our short list below does not represent all the big names with fat bank accounts who are set to shack up in 15 CPW, so if any of you kids would like to provide us with more high profile names, be sure to give Your Mama a jingle.

1. Legendary television writer and producer Norman Lear and his wifey Lyn reportedly purchased a 2,800 square foot (approx.), 2 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom unit for nearly $10,000,000. We think they may have in fact purchased a high floor B line unit in the "Tower." According to the NY Post, the octogenarians are downsizing from their 15 room sprawler at 828 5th Avenue.

2. Just about every real estate gossip has reported that television sportscaster Bob Costas recently forked over $11,017,000 for an 8th floor "House" unit. Property records indicate the Costas residence measures 3,333 square foot with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms, however, listing information for that unit shows the residence measuring 3,454 square feet with 3 bedrooms (plus library) and 4 bathrooms. Not sure why the discrepancy.

3. Oscar winning actor and Beverly Park denizen Denzel Washington is reported to have shelled out around $12,000,000 for an approx. 3,000 square foot unit facing Central Park with 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, and a park view terrace. Your Mama speculates that Mister Washington's unit may be located at the southern end of the 38th floor of the "Tower," but we're not certain. Nothing like an 8-figure New York City pied a terre.

5. Filthy rich NASCAR star Jeff Gordon purchased a 3,800 square foot unit.

6. Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, who brought home a reported $68,500,000 in 2007, is rumored to have used $27,000,000 of his bacon to purchase one of the larger condos at 15 CPW. Your Mama speculates (speculates, children, speculates) it might be the 6,473 square foot penthouse on the 42nd floor of the "Tower."

7. Although nobody seems to know which one, one of the gazillionaire Google guys, is rumored to have purchased a high floor spread in the "Tower" to the tune of around $30,000,000. No one connected to that sale is yakking or leaking and none of the real estate gossips, including Your Mama, have been able to confirm.

8. Fifty something and still touring rock star Sting and his long time wifey Trudi Styler reportedly dropped around $30,000,000 for a 5,500 square foot "Tower" side duplex with 5 bedrooms and a terrace. However, the Tantric sexing couple recently took their current home, another massive Central Park West duplex, off the market. Could it be they've changed their minds about moving down the street?
9. Former Citigroup CEO and current billionaire banker Sandy Weill is said to have spent $42,405,000 for a 6,744 square foot penthouse unit on the 20th floor of the "House" side of the building. That's a coma inducing $6,200 per square foot, children. Think about that for minute. The full floor residence includes 4 bedrooms (plus 1 maids room), 6.5 bathrooms, nearly 1,979 square feet of terraces, and a surprisingly unimaginative floor plan (see above, thanks to the good folks at Curbed). You'll note the small secondary bedrooms with their small bathrooms and paltry closet space. No offense to Mister Stern, the Zeckendorfs or Mister Weill, but for forty some million smackers Your Mama wants properly sized guest rooms that do not feel cramped and claustrophobic like those itty bitty caves at the Paramount Hotel.

Property records reflect that Mister and Missus Weill also purchased a 1,079 square foot, 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathroom residence, presumably for guests, staff or a nearby place to go when they need a little time away from each other. Although the schedule A for the building indicates the unit had a price of $2,100,000, records show the couple paid only $950,000 for the sixth floor unit.

10. Hedge fund honcho Daniel Loeb is reported to have purchased both units on the 39th floor of the "Tower" for a staggering $45,000,000 (approx.). Combined the units have 10 bedrooms and 10,700 square feet.

As more of the units close and are recorded, Your Mama expects that a few more big name residents will be revealed. Stay tuned. The real question is whether living in the building will live up the the hype and sky high prices.

UPDATE: Ellen Degeneres

The children who are not still working a New Years Eve hangover will recall that real estate maven Ellen Degeneres and her horse luvvin' ladee lover Portia Di Rossi recently scooped up Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick's freshly built Bev Hills mansion for the not very bargain basement price of just over $29,000,000.

Since Miz D. loves a compound and typically buys several adjacent properties, Your Mama speculated that the Sapphic couple would also purchase the Cabrillo Drive property across the street. Property records now reveal that the real estate rich lezbeeuns did indeed snap up the 4,580 square foot, 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom house from celebrity real estate agent Jade Mills.

What property records do not reveal, however, is the purchase price. But the children are in luck today because Your Mama hears from an obscenely well connected source that they gurls paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $8,500,000. We can not corroborate that number with records at this point, so don't read that as some sort of gospel...it's not...it's rumor at this point kids, just rumor.

We've also heard, from two unconnected sources, that Miz D. is planning to gate the street below the well fortified entrance to their bat-cave garage. That is unless they are able to convince the owners of the third and remaining property on the dead end street to sell too. Owning that third property would allow the privacy seekers to gate almost the entire street. Finally, the perfectly private compound of her real estate dreams.

Now children, we hope there's really no need to say this again, but don't even think of driving your cheap ass auto-mo-beels up Cabrillo Drive thinking you're going to catch a glimpse of these two ladees, because your stoopid ass will just be unceremoniously turned away by one of their 24/7 armed and beefy security guards.

Now then, let the potlucks begin.

Slash Sells the San Fernando Valley Family Home

SELLER: Slash and Perla Hudson
LOCATION: Valley Vista Boulevard, Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $3,750,000 (list); $3,450,000 (sale)
SIZE: 5,980 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Sleek, sexy, sophisticated, private gated estate with infinity ozone pool. Contemporary, Zen design with 7 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, 3 fireplaces, Crestron system. Beautiful mingling of family feeling and ultra-cool! This gorgeous property provides complete privacy yet gives a 180 degree view of the valley. Truly a trophy property!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Welcome to the year 2008 children. Onward. Forward. Upward.

Frizzy haired former Guns and Roses guitarist Slash (real name: Saul Hudson and now picking with Velvet Revolver) has been much in the real estate gossip columns lately due to the heavy duty hullabaloo and legal wrangling over the Hollywood Hills house he purchased back in December of 2005 and recently sold at a loss to some dude who is a relief pitcher for the San Diego Padres. But as we first learned a week or two ago from the always resourceful Mister Big Time, that was not the only real estate transaction that Mister Slash and his reportedly soon to be ex-wifey Perla have been involved in of late.

Property records reveal that in March of 2002, back when Slash and Perla still made googly eyes at each other, the couple purchased this Sherman Oaks property for $2,150,000. Back then, they were recently and happily married and getting ready to push out a baby or two, so this 5,980 square foot uber-private property overlooking the San Fernando Valley surely seemed a perfect fit. With 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms, it offered plenty of room for the rock star couple, their on-the-way babies and a live in nanny. No puppies, Your Mama does not not if the Slash's nanny lived with them or even if they had a damn nanny. The point is there was plenty of room for a nanny if they had one. Alright?

Anyhoo, Mister and Missus Slash have been dealing with dee-vorce rumors for some time now and given that property records (and Mister Big Time) reveal that they've now sold off their San Fernando family nest for $3,450,000, Your Mama expects the rumors to become deafening in the world of people who care about the marriages of hard rocking guitarists. That is unless Slash's PR flaks announce that they'll be starting over in a new and more glammy house somewhere else. It's Hollywood children. It could happen. According to the listing information provided to Your Mama by our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills, the house was last listed at $3,750,000 after having been reduced from $3,995,000.

Your Mama confesses that we are frequently somewhat surprised by the private homes of rock stars who have lived notoriously chaotic, boozey, and floozy filled lives. For better or worse we expect them to be haphazardly "decorated" with black leather sofas, displays of Wild Turkey bottles on the mantles and dozens of ashtrays filled with cigarette butts and spittle sitting on stacks of pornographic videos. But au contrare. As is so often case and despite Your Mama's stereotypical expectations, the Slash house cuts a much more sophisticated, polished and family friendly residential environment than we imagined.

The house is accessed up a long and lovely celebrity style driveway that climbs to the peak of a promontory that provides 180 degree views of the San Fernando Valley. The house appears to be a simple ranch house that was completely re-worked into a warmly contemporary house.

Now, Your Mama already knows that most of you children are going to shred this place to bits, because that's what you do. But we're going to go against the grain this morning and say that it is our opinion that this property possesses enough favorable features to make it an pleasing place to shack up. No hunnies, this is not a place Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would choose to live...we'd never dream of having 7 bedrooms or 7 bathrooms or a Sherman Oaks address...but for a well do Galleria going family with too many damn kids, it's a sensible and sound option.

Do we think those red suede sofa things in the bedroom should be removed? Yes. Are we concerned that the massive number of candles surrounding the spa tub present a potential fire hazard? Indeed. Do we loathe the credenza in the dining room and does snail looking artwork hanging over the fireplace in the living room give us the heebie-jeebies? Yes, of course.

None the less, Your Mama happens to be of the mind that if you crave a private estate in the San Fernando Valley with a large number of bedrooms and you have a few million clams to spend, you could do much, much worse than this place. Your Mama is actually quite fond of the flagstone flooring throughout the living, dining and kitchen areas and we can only hope Mister and Missus Slash had radiant heating installed under that stone floor. The large kitchen offers a good work flow and heaps of counter space for cooking, if cooking is what you desire to do in the kitchen. And while we'd flush the ottoman and choose a different chair entirely, we are swooning over the fitted dressing room that gives way to a small terrace at the front of the house which is perfect for testing the temperature in the morning to determine if you need a sweater or not.

Your Mama might have chosen a big beat up black-waxed farmhouse table with eight white Panton chairs and a pair of gorgeous gold leaf twig chandeliers by Gwen Carlton, however, we adore the shady vine covered terrace even if we fell a bit pukey about the patio furniture. The landscaping is uninspired and the patchy grass looks like it could use a little more attention by the gardeners, but children, even if you think infinity pools have become passe and even if you don't possess a burning desire to own a long view over the flat lands of the San Fernando Valley, this is a lovely, modestly and manageably scaled back yard that offers the kind of privacy and open sky that most people in urban areas can only dream.

We await word from a well connected source to tell us where Mister Slash, Perla and the children will be moving and also whether they'll be moving together or separately. Perhaps Slash will truck his bags over to a house high in the hills above Malee-boo and Perla will head over the hill to Beverly Hills where the children can be educated at Crossroads or one of the other better bohemian private schools that dot the Westside of of Los Angeles.

Whatever the case, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter wish them all a Happy New Year and much peace in 2008. Fracturing families are never funny and we sincerely hope that should Mister and Missus Slash head to dee-vorce court that they are able to remain civil and graceful for the sake of their babies.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Your Mama would like to wish all the children a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Much to our great surprise and delight, our little corner of the blog world grew exponentially in 2007 thanks to all the celebrity real estate hungry children, our vast spider web of tipsters and sources, the researchers who dig up all sorts of strange and interesting tidbits, all the other blogs and websites who have so generously linked over to our discussions, the magazines and newspapers and so on and so forth.

Your Mama looks forward to a 2008 filled with more and more and more and in fact we've already lined up a long list of celebrity homes to discuss in the beginning days of 2008, so fasten your seat belts children because it's going to be a wild ride.

Now go watch some football or be with your families or whatever people do on New Years Day while Your Mama spends the morning fussing and fighting with this fat hangover that is working our last nerve.